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It’s Time For A National LGBT Leader


mcol_rainbowIt has always amazed me when my “far-right” friends talk about the “homosexual agenda.”

None of them have ever been able to tell me what that “agenda” contains.

If it means that agenda is a code word for “civil rights” then I will agree.

I often explain to my friends that the LGBT Community is so fractured that organizing them under one voice and direction would be a herculean task.

Bob and I had breakfast with a good friend and former employee this past Saturday.

When the conversation got around to politics and activism, I spouted my concern about how I felt that the LGBT community tends to be wrapped up in petty “bar politics” and generally “self destructive” tendencies.

When I was done with my “sermonizing”, about how it seems that we as “gays” tend not to want to see anyone succeed in a leadership role, our friend, who is in college and much younger than I, calmly said, “I agree.”

He related several stories about his dealings with the “community” through a Pride Center and how it never moved forward due to the “hostility” and “political” agenda of various members.

I shared the fact that I could relate to his comment, for when I ran for “public office” several other gay bar owners, and patrons of their establishments, would not support me, even tho it seemed a good thing that an openly gay male was standing up and trying to make a difference.

Comments from those owners and patrons ranged from “He’s only running to save his business” to “He think he’s better than all of us.”

The one I like the most, and said to my face, “Tristan you’re a fucking gay bar owner, act like one.” Still haven’t figured that out yet.

Later, after it was known that I had received several death threats in the mail, the “community” was rather silent. In-fact it was our “straight” friends, along with the local Police Department, that was the most concerned for my safety.

With the new administration’s open support for the rights of the LGBT “community,” it is time to find our collective voice.

If we let these first four years of the Obama Administration pass without striving to obtain the “rights”, that all other Americans enjoy, then we have only ourselves to blame.

One Comment leave one →
  1. 02/09/2009 9:14 am

    Sad, but true. I have, however, seen an improvement in the level of cooperation within the community over the years and still have hope. There are any number of competent, articulate people who could and would serve as national leaders, but the community doesn’t lend itself to being led. It is a situation wherein our diversity as a community, otherwise a very good thing, does us in. We’re so diverse that the various elements will never agree on certain issues. Other than being marginalized by society, for example, what does the average homosexual or “gay” (if you prefer) man or woman have in common with the man or woman who is bisexual or transgendered? A “gay agenda” is laughable to those of us within the community, because we know how varied opinions are on what it is we should be pursuing. I’m astonished by the number of monogamous, loving gay couples, who are opposed to gay marriage, just as one example. Once I spoke with a person in your bar in Warren during Happy Hour who was clearly a “physical man” dressed up like a woman. S/he was transgendered and the conversation led to our discussing sex. She told me that she had begun receiving female hormones and counseling and living full time as a woman and planned to have the corrective surgery as soon as possible. She told me that she had been married to a woman and had children. Then she told me, upon inquiry, that she was attracted to women! Anyone who knows me, knows that I am compelled to “call a spade a spade;” so I said; “so after you’ve had the surgery, you will be a lesbian.” She hadn’t thought about it and was in tears by the end of our conversation – fervently denying that she would be a lesbian. We all get labeled for better or worse; so what would you call someone who is for all intents and purposes female, who is sexually attracted to women? Those are just a couple of examples. Try as I may, and I am NOT proud of this, I have trouble understanding people who call themselves bisexual. I’ve always thought of them as “fence sitters.” People who, unlike me, DO have a choice, but refuse to make one. Hopefully, one day someone will be able to explain to me why my thinking in that regard is askew. Now, don’t anybody (please) twist that statement around to infer that I “don’t like” bisexuals. I like them just fine. I just don’t understand them. In summation, while I love our community and do embrace its diversity, I’m not sure that we did ourselves any favors when the “gay” community became the GLBT community. Please don’t construe that to mean that having now become the GLBT community, I would do anything to change it back. I simply offer it as one very possible explanation for why our community does not lend itself to being led. There are numerous others; maybe I’ll blog about my opinions in this regard over at Mike’s Musings soon.

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