Glenn Beck Thinks FarmVille An Obama Plot To Bring About Socialism
It was late at night, or early morning, and there was the Elmer Gantry of Fox News ranting and raving about the evils of “Social Justice Churches,” “Obamacare”, “Woodrow Wilson and George Bernard Shaw” when he paused in front of one of his many scribbled on blackboards.
He looked off to the side, as if transfixed on some burning bush or mountain top experience, wiped a tear from his eye and turned full face into the camera.
“Friends,” he said in a hushed voice, “…it’s coming. Socialism is being harvested in America by this evil Obama regime and the proof is obvious.”
His voice gets stronger, “It started a year ago and slowly has gathered followers; young and old a like.”
Beck walks to one of his blackboards and there he has drawn, sheep, chickens, cows and goats.
“FarmVille friends. It’s Obama preparing and teaching people to bring about full socialism to America.”
“Co-Op farming and market stalls; helping your neighbors by fertilizing their crops and feeding their chickens; giving away free gifts; helping people get bigger farms and more crops to make money, how truly un-American.”
He paused to take a breath as eyes misty with tears stream down his Pillsbury doughboy face.
“My friends, it’s right before us and we must stop this from catching on or American family values will be destroyed. The liberals and progressives are indoctrinating us to accept this as a game. It’s no game my friends,” He gathers composure, pauses again, “…but I’ll be back with more after this message from our sponsor Gold Line.”
At this point I wake up from my nightmare and vow to never harvest and play FarmVille before going to bed so early in the morning again. Oh, maybe I should join that FarmVille Anonymous fan page after all.
This post has been a satire, if you haven’t already figured it out, but you can’t deny it’s something Beck couldn’t do or say.
Brilliant Tristan! I will send this to all the Marxist I know that play FarmVille. You got to love Capitalism. What other economic system has a corporation puke oil all over the Gulf and we all benefit? We can now buy Gulf shrimp that already comes packed in oil ready to stir fry. Environmental disaster turned into convenient cooking.
Thank you so much! I agree that this disaster tells a lot about us and our corporate greed. I’m in awe of those that defend BP. Those who say we are losing our freedoms BUT want the Administration to “mobilize and commandeer” ships, people and equipment. Those who support the Supreme Court’s decision to treat Corporations like individuals when it comes to campaign finance are the most vocal in calling BP’s taking care of those who are financially ruined, a “shakedown.” It’s simple, when a neighbor ruins his neighbors property the courts them libel, so this neighbor BP) has ruined his neighbor’s (USA) property…take care of it.